Here are the rules for Fancy Nut's NBA Draft Drinking Game.
ONE DRINK FOR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:
- Stuart Scott uncomfortably fist pounds with a player
- Mike Tirico talks about how the family sacrificed to get to that moment (lack of birth control, welfare, food stamps, etc)
- Anyone uses the word “long”
- You find yourself awkwardly looking around the room, holding back giggles, after said use of “long”
- Jay Bilas uses any of the following phrases:
- Explosion Ability
- Upside
- Potential
- Upside Potential
- Tremendous Upside Potential
- Any of the following terms/phrases are used:
- Natural Leader
- Feel for the game
- Passes the eyeball test (what the hell is that?!)
- Requisite “hot girlfriend” is shown and the whistling begins (see Casey Jacobsen)
- If a player wears a bowtie (see Karl Malone)
- Hubie Brown starts breaking off ridiculous stats and you find yourself glazing over
- Anytime a random uninvited Euro emerges out of the stands and walks onto the stage, making David Stern exceedingly uncomfortable
- Anytime the Carolina Bobcats take a UNC player
- Anytime a player’s mother breaks down crying and clapping like Eddie Murphy in
“The Nutty Professor” (“Hercules, Hercules”…)
- Dick Vitale screams for more than 10 seconds without breathing
TWO DRINKS FOR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:
- For each awkward Tyler Hansbrough “Green Room shot”…An extra shot if he’s wearing the black pinstriped “mafia suit”
- Any time the term “ball skills” is used
- When Stuart Scott gives the lazy eye to a poor unsuspecting player’s mother or an interview with an international breaks down into stammering and then silence
- If a player sports a top hat and cane (hello Samaki Walker, honoring B.I.G.)…
An extra 7 shots if that person is white
- If a player wears a 4+ piece suit (see Carmelo Anthony)
- For every illegitimate child at a player’s table
THE FANCY NUTS "ZIMA/SPRITZER/CIDER SPECIAL":
- If Bilas uses the phrase “long with great ball skills and tremendous upside potential”
