Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The New York Post Loses World Cup Fever

The New York Post has had a great sense of humor when it comes to the US World Cup team and this country's sudden - all be it brief - obsession with soccer.

Well, after the US loss to Ghana, the folks at the Post didn't follow our lead. No, instead they came up with a truly American headline - a headline that sums up the way most of us feel about the World Cup and soccer in general now that our team is done.


Monday, June 28, 2010

Salt and D destroy the studio Vuvuzela

With the United States losing to Ghana in the 2010 World Cup, the wind has been knocked out of our sails. We wanted to enjoy soccer in all it's nil-nil glory but now that we don't have a dog in the fight, WHAT IS THE POINT?!

So we decided to take our anger out on that annoying little instrument that has plagued the World Cup broadcast...and we don't mean the British broadcast team! We are speaking, of course, about the vuvuzela...and here is what we did to it!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Farewell Lee Fowler

Debbie Yow is the new Athletic Director at NC State, and you now have a lot of free time on your hands.
Look at it this way - now you have more time for boating...or snorkeling...or whatever the hell was going on when this photo was taken. What's the story with those ladies in the background? All three of you have lovely breasts.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The NBA Draft Drinking Game 2.0

Many of you are asking for it, so hear it is - the rules (straight from Fancy Nuts himself) for the NBA Draft Drinking Game 2.0!

The Inaugural Gary Coleman-Manute-Bol Remember the Little People and the Big People Memorial 2010 NBA Draft Drinking Game

Timeless Single Shots

· 1 shot in honor of tonight’s ignominious (SAT prep word) broadcast crew: Stuart “Left Eye” Scott, Jon “Marvin Bush” Barry, Jeff “I Was Fantastic in Adams Family Reunion” Van Gundy, and “Long” Jay Bilas

· “Long” Jay Bilas uses any of the following phrases:

o Explosion Ability

o Upside

o Potential

o Upside Potential

o Tremendous Upside Potential, with Topside

· Any of the following terms/phrases are used:

o Passes the eyeball test

o Measurables

o “Feel for the Game”

o Heady

o “Ball Skills”

· Dress Code Drinks:

o If a player wears a tacky wedding bowtie (see Karl Malone)

o If the player wears a B.I.G. tophat (Samaki Walker)

  • For every illegitimate child at a player’s table
  • Anytime a random uninvited Euro emerges out of the stands and walks onto the stage, making David Stern exceedingly uncomfortable

· Dick Vitale screams for more than 10 seconds without breathing, while wearing a blood red shirt – Scream “Satan!” and drink

Honorary Manute Bol Double Shots

· Any time “the LeBron James sweepstakes” is mentioned

· Any time the cryptic (and certainly homeless) “World Wide Wes” is described as “the most powerful man in sports”

· Every time Jon Scheyer is described as heady, then claim racism

· Every time they show the Gordon Hayward shot vs. Duke and say “that shot’s still in the air, right?”

· If the sound of a vuvuzela breaks out


· If Bilas uses the phrase “long and heady with great ball skills and tremendous upside potential”

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Kardashian Charm

So let's see if we have the formula right. Take one talented athlete - say Reggie Bush

Or Lamar Odom

Then add one Kardashian sister - say Kim

or Khloe.

...And what do you get?

You get a championship. It's a proven formula! So which former Tar Heel is looking to be the next beneficiary of the Kardashian charm? Click here to find out.

Monday, June 21, 2010

There are 2 Tim Peelers

Just so we're clear...

This is the guy who claims he saw Bigfoot in Cleveland County.

His name is Tim Peeler. He seems like a delightful man. His hobbies include bear hunting, hog hunting, and amateur coyote caller making.

This man works as a reporter for gopack.com.

His name is also Tim Peeler, but he is not that Tim Peeler. Please stop confusing this Tim Peeler with that Tim Peeler. It is making life hell for this Tim Peeler.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Who is the Better Internet Creature?

White people, I think we are being punished. We have had our fun with the Mobile, Alabama leprechaun video for a number of years now.

Karma says it is time for us to leave the citizens of Crichton alone and laugh at ourselves. If you have not already seen it, take a look at the next internet phenomenon - Tim Peeler and the North Carolina Sasquatch!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The New iPhone and Sex

This is Debby Herbenick, the woman we had on this morning to talk about the new iPhone and how it can improve your sex life. She is a lovely woman.

Click here to read the article at Gizmodo.com.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Sexy Movie Monsters

We got some great calls and suggestions this morning. Of course everyone loves the three boobed hooker from Total Recall.

The subject of Natasha Henstridge from the Species films came up. Is she hotter as Eve - the human?

Or was she hotter as Sil - the monster?

The ladies weighed in as well. One of them said that she wanted to be with Gordon Shumway,

Yes, Gordon Shumway is ALF.

There is one thing that really bothered me about this question. How did no one say Sy Snootles?

You can have Leia in the gold bikini. If we are trapped in Jabba's lair, I am going for the sultry singer of the Max Rebo Band - they're like Dave Matthews without the bad dancing.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Why Does CNBC Cover Sports in the First Place?

While we were on the air yesterday morning, we nearly missed a fight on CNBC!

I don't know what the old man's name is. I don't know what the relatively attractive young lady's name is either. All I know is that he is a terrible sportscaster, and she very nearly punched a sexagenarian.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

It's Spelling Bee Time!

The Spelling Bee is back this Friday! We all have Spelling Bee fever here. Perhaps you could call it "Spelling Bee-ver," but that, frankly, sound dirty. Let us help you get in the spirit!

Now, let's see them at play!

This year the spellers and their parents all get t-shirts with letters on them, which made for some spelling related humor and patriotism at the annual pre-Bee barbecue.

There is more to a spelling bee than just cookouts and wordplay. It's also a chance to tell your parents a little something about yourself.

Now, from the outside the Scripps National Spelling Bee seems like the kind of place that nerds gather to prove who that year's Highlander is. But think about it from the stand point of a kid in the competition! This is foreign soil, with a whole new set of young ladies to put the mack on. Time to look sharp!